Short Stories: Katie's Choice
Katie enjoyed the Thanksgiving holidays: the food, vacation from school--and yes, even the football games. Yet, what she liked most was being with her family. Her oldest sister Rachel and husband Mark always came for Thanksgiving dinner, as did Debby and Tammy, her sisters home on college break.
Katie ladled more gravy on her stuffing. This was her last year of high school. Next year she planned to attend college. Events from the last few weeks, however, had left Katie unsettled about what she would do next week--let alone next year. Deep in thought, she failed to notice the lull in conversation until she heard "good news."
Katie's brother-in-law Mark was beaming. "We wanted to tell you earlier, but decided it would be more fun to let you all know at once." He glanced around the table and then lovingly back at Rachel. "Come next summer, there's going to be another little mouth to feed!"
There was silence for a moment. Then everyone started talking at once.
"Hey, that's great! Congratulations!"
"A baby? When's it due?"
"Have you seen the doctor, yet?"
"How are you feeling, Rachel?"
"Hold on," said Rachel. "I'll answer your questions, but how about one at a time?"
Debby laughed. "Sorry, Sis, I guess we're all excited."
"Well, we're excited--and nervous," added Rachel. "We had a hard time keeping this a secret."
"I don't think I could have," remarked Debby.
"That's because you can't keep a secret," teased Tammy.
"I can too!"
"Wait just a minute," interrupted Katie's Dad. "We were discussing Rachel and the new baby." Everyone got quiet again, and Dad looked back at Rachel. "Kindly proceed."
"Thanks, Dad. Well, you asked how I'm feeling--fine now, but that could change tomorrow. Certain foods--even just smelling them--make me sick." Rachel laughed. "This baby may be small, but he takes all my energy. I nap nearly every day, yet I'm still tired. The doctor put me on vitamins and extra iron to help."
Mark smiled at Rachel. "If the baby arrives on time, I get to celebrate Father's Day!"
"Meanwhile, I have to wait a whole year to celebrate Mother's Day," protested Rachel.
Katie's mom smiled at her eldest daughter. "Rachel, you are a mother now even if you can't see your baby, and he'll be here before you know it. Enjoy this time while you can. Motherhood changes your life forever."
Katie wanted to be happy for Rachel and Mark. She had always wanted a younger sister or brother to "mother." But instead of celebrating with the rest of the family, she was feeling sick and miserable! She knew she had to leave the table--and soon.
Katie took a deep breath to regain her composure. "Mom, thanks for the meal, but may I be excused?"
"Why you've hardly touched your plate, and we haven't had dessert. Are you sick?"
"I think so," Katie managed. "I'll feel better if I can just lie down a little."
Katie felt ill at ease by her mom's look. "Katie, I hate to see you miss the Thanksgiving celebration, but if you're sick . . ." She paused and sighed. "Go ahead. Get some rest. Maybe you can join us later."
"Thanks . . . Uh . . . sorry, everybody, for being a party pooper. Please excuse me." Almost as an afterthought, Katie added, "Uh . . . congratulations, Rachel and Mark."
Katie had to swallow the lump in her throat as she left the table. Her family's sympathetic looks and remarks nearly broke her resolve not to break down in front of everyone.
Katie collapsed on her bed and sobbed into her pillow. Positive. The test was positive. She, a high school honor student and an active youth group member in her church, was pregnant. Katie knew other girls who got pregnant, but not good Christian girls like her. This baby would ruin both her testimony and her plans for the future--her whole life. And her parents--they were loving, but strict. They would be devastated by Katie's pregnancy because she was their perfect little angel.
Katie was certain no one suspected her terrible secret--yet. She was surprised because it seemed her mom had a sixth sense for predicting problems. Katie had known she was pregnant even before the pregnancy test. Oh, she had tried to deny the symptoms as long as possible. Yes, she was tired, but she was really busy with her senior projects, youth group activities, and babysitting jobs. Stress could do strange things to a body she knew. Fortunately, Katie wasn't plagued with morning sickness--just some nausea occasionally.
She knew she hadn't taken any precautions, but then neither she nor her former boyfriend had ever intended on letting things go so far. They had only had sex one time, and she had thought a girl couldn't get pregnant the first time. Katie hadn't even told her boyfriend Jason about her pregnancy since they mutually agreed to end the relationship. Jason was a Christian, but his parents weren't. This pregnancy would ruin his testimony. If only she could make this pregnancy disappear--at least for a few years. Katie couldn't have a baby now. Too much was at stake.
Katie had always been a strong pro-life supporter. In fact, she had spoken out quite vehemently for the unborn last year at her public high school. Her class had gotten into a heated debate about abortion.
Katie distinctly remembered the whole experience as though it had happened last week. The class was discussing term papers. Lisa had presented her paper on abortion. She asserted that abortion should be allowed for anyone under any circumstances. When the instructor invited questions or comments, Katie knew she couldn't remain silent.
"Unwanted pregnancies are difficult to deal with, but is killing a baby really the answer?"
"I wouldn't say that abortion is killing a baby," replied Lisa. "For the first few weeks, the embryo is just a blob of tissue--a growth smaller than your finger nail. The fetus can't even survive outside the womb. Terminating a pregnancy is really just an induced miscarriage."
"But don't you agree that women suffer great emotional turmoil during and after an abortion?"
"I think a woman endures more turmoil if she carries an unwanted pregnancy to term. Would you force a woman who is raped to have that baby? How do you think she would feel every time she looks at that child?
"What about the woman carrying a deformed child? Why have the mother endure nine months of unrest only to have an abnormal child or have the baby die shortly thereafter? I think it's easier and more humane to end the child's suffering right away.
"And consider the teenager who has a baby and keeps it. She will probably drop out of school and rely on public assistance to raise her child. Her children are at a disadvantage no matter how you look at it. Do you think it's fair for a child to struggle against such odds? Better not to be born than to endure such obstacles."
"I'll admit," Katie argued, "that there is much controversy about abortion in cases of rape, incest, and the life of the mother. Yet, very few abortions are performed for those reasons. Most aborted babies are perfectly normal--just an inconvenience to the mother."
"Yes," interjected another student. "I have problems with women having multiple abortions. One abortion, maybe. We all make mistakes. But something's wrong with women who fail to take preventive measures."
"Many women do use birth control, but nothing is foolproof," said Lisa. "When mishaps occur, a woman needs an alternative. Her body is hers to control, and she has the right to make decisions about her reproductive health--especially during pregnancy."
"But," protested Katie, "you're forgetting the baby is a person who has rights, too."
"The fetus is not a person, just a potential person with potential rights. If you give this potential being the right to life, you automatically negate the mother's right to her liberty and happiness. Abortion is not an easy decision. It would be easier if abortions didn't exist, but women will get abortions somewhere. Wouldn't you rather a woman get a safe legal abortion than to risk sterility and death in an illegal one?"
The rest of the class time was spent debating abortion rights. Katie discovered a wide spectrum of opinions in her class. Most believed that there should be at least some restrictions to abortion. Katie maintained that abortion should be illegal since it is God's business who lives or dies. She even insisted that if immorality weren't so rampant, abortion wouldn't be such an issue.
Yes, Katie was against abortion. Now that she was pregnant, however, abortion seemed her only option. Although adoption was an alternative, she knew it would be difficult to go through nine months of pregnancy only to give the baby away.
To continue the pregnancy and keep the baby would ruin everything for Katie. She would have to face her parents' reaction, and the whole world would discover that "perfect little Katie" was not so perfect.
Last week Katie had called a woman's clinic to get some answers. The clinic urged her to come in the following day for a free counseling session.
During that appointment, the counselor had discussed how keeping a baby could affect Katie's family and her life both now and in the future. "Can you afford the cost of clothing, medical care, and education?" she asked. "Will it bother you to give up things you enjoy?" The counselor continued. "Do you have the strength, maturity, and resourcefulness to raise a child alone? Will you feel comfortable giving up a child for adoption knowing you would never see it again?"
The abortion procedure had sounded so simple since Katie was old enough to get one without her parent's knowledge. The clinic could get a pass from school and complete the procedure in a few hours. Yes, there might be some discomfort--slight cramping sensations--and perhaps some guilt feelings, especially since her parents and church opposed abortion. According to the counselor, however, that sense of guilt did not imply wrongdoing. She stated that the emotional stress usually lessens after the procedure and most women feel a sense of relief.
The counselor urged Katie to make a decision as soon as possible--without influence of anti-choice individuals who might pressure Katie into a wrong choice. She reminded Katie that her decision might never feel like the "perfect" decision and that she might continue to have mixed feelings. Yet, if she could handle those feelings, she was ready to act on her decision.
Katie agonized for days before scheduling her appointment earlier in the week. By next week, she would be her normal self again--or would she? If only this were a bad dream.
Exhausted, Katie fell asleep. She awoke to a soft rap at her door. Rachel stepped into the room.
"Katie, I'm sorry to disturb you, but Mark and I are leaving soon, and I wanted to see how you are doing. I thought you seemed troubled earlier. Is everything all right?"
Katie swallowed. That was just like Rachel--very perceptive and always concerned about others. Maybe that's why Katie felt so close to Rachel despite the seven years difference between them.
Katie avoided looking directly at her sister. "Uh . . . yes. Everything's fine."
Rachel was not convinced. "Are you sure there's nothing you need to talk about?"
"Rachel, I appreciate your concern, but there's really nothing you can do to help me . . . " Katie's voice trailed off.
Rachel sat on the side of the bed and reached out to Katie. "Katie, I know your breakup with Jason hurt you, but I think there's something else bothering you."
Katie longed to remove the heavy burden from her heart. If only she could. "I-I'm sorry, Rachel. I-I can't."
Rachel hesitated, and then stood to leave. She knew from experience that Katie would say no more. "Katie, I love you . . . When you're ready to talk, I'll listen."
Tears stung Katie's eyes as she watched her sister leave. Although she loved Rachel dearly, she felt uncomfortable near her since they both were pregnant. Rachel's baby would be a painful reminder to Katie of what might have been. Katie cherished her family, but now it hurt to be with them. How would she ever endure the long weekend with her family?
Katie was surprised at how quiet the house really was and at how quickly the extended weekend passed. On Friday, everyone--except Katie--went shopping. Then, on Saturday, Debby and Tammy visited some friends before returning to school on Sunday.
It seemed to Katie that Monday morning came all too soon. She attended her first couple classes, but her mind was on her appointment later that morning at the women's clinic.
The waiting room at the clinic was long and narrow and brightly lit, despite the lack of windows. Chairs and several end tables holding a mélange of reading materials lined the perimeter. On the walls hung several posters describing family planning, birth control methods, and "a woman's right to choose." An oversized artificial plant near the reception window completed the decor.
Katie glanced around the room again. Most of the girls were young, but older than Katie. Some seemed relaxed, while others appeared to be as nervous as Katie. The more time that passed, the more agitated Katie became, for she feared being recognized. She gripped the side of the chair until her knuckles turned white.
A tall girl sitting near Katie smiled. "This must be your first." Katie nodded. The girl continued. "Well, I was as nervous as you the first time. Relax. It gets easier each time."
Katie was curious. "H-how many have you had?"
"This is my fifth--kind of expensive birth control, huh?" She chuckled. "Not as costly as a baby, though. I use birth control--sometimes, but I usually forget. Next time, I may try that emergency contraception. You can get it here. It's a morning-after pill that prevents pregnancy."
Katie was shocked. This girl couldn't be much older than she was. "Doesn't it bother you--having so many abortions, I mean?"
"No. There are already too many unwanted and neglected children, and I don't want to be guilty of overpopulating the world. Besides, what kind of life can I offer a kid?"
"Does-does it hurt?"
"Don't know. I always get sedated cause I'm a wimp when it comes to pain. Some women get all sentimental and tell you it's the worst thing they've been through. Now, what I can't stand are those women who mope around for months after their abortion. You sure don't see me high-strung over a blob of cells!"
Katie thought, "If only the baby were just a 'product of conception'--a blob of cells that feels no pain." The counselor had claimed that the fetus would not feel pain until after twenty weeks, but Katie was not so sure.
"Oh, little one! I'm sorry," Katie whispered placing her hand on her womb. "I love you already and wish I could provide a happy home for you. Please forgive me." Katie bit her lip to refrain from crying.
Katie was still trying to suppress her tears later on the examining table. A lab technician was doing an ultrasound to confirm the stage of her pregnancy. The screen was tilted away from Katie. Suddenly, Katie knew she had to see that ultrasound.
"Please . . . may I see the ultrasound?"
The lab technician eyed Katie carefully. "Are you sure?"
"Yes . . . I-I need to see," Katie choked.
Katie was amazed. There on the screen was a miniature baby. The image was not clear; but she could make out a head, little arms and legs swimming all around, and a tiny pulsating dot--the beating heart. No, this fetus was not a blob of tissue, but a baby--a baby that was very much alive. Katie knew then she could never abort her baby.
Katie wept with emotion. "Oh, God . . . I have sinned and tried to cover my sin by killing my baby. Please-please forgive me . . . and Lord, I need your guidance. Show me what to do next." Katie knew she needed to leave the clinic, but where could she go?
As Katie left the facilities, she recalled her sister's tenderhearted care. Rachel. She would go to Rachel.
With great trepidation, Katie knocked on her sister's door.
Rachel was both surprised and concerned to see a weeping Katie on her doorstep, and during the school day. Katie no sooner entered the house, then she collapsed into her sister's arms. Releasing all her pent-up emotions, Katie tearfully confessed everything.
Tears welled up in Rachel's eyes. "Oh, Katie, I wondered if you were pregnant." At Katie's startled looked, Rachel explained. "Your symptoms and your reaction to my pregnancy made me suspicious. Everyone else was caught up in the excitement of my pregnancy to notice otherwise. Mom has been concerned about you, but she thinks you're still grieving over your breakup with Jason."
Katie sniffed. "How can I tell Mom and Dad? They'll be so hurt. And . . . and this pregnancy will ruin my life, too."
"Well, Katie, you're not an island unto yourself. Your actions affect both you and those around you. Nevertheless, I wouldn't say that this pregnancy will ruin your life--just change it."
Katie and Rachel cried and talked and cried some more. Katie was exhausted and Rachel insisted that Katie get a bite to eat and then rest downstairs in the guest bedroom.
Katie had a hard time relaxing. She tossed and turned, and it was late in the afternoon before she finally dozed off. She vaguely remembered hearing the telephone ring, but she was too tired to care.
Later, Katie awoke to muffled voices and movement above her. Her brother-in-law Mark was home. Katie stayed in bed and pretended to be asleep even when Rachel poked her head in the door. Katie wanted to postpone facing family members as long as possible. She supposed that her mom and dad were probably worried about her. She would have to call them soon, but Katie cringed thinking about it.
The telephone rang. A couple minutes later Rachel knocked on the door."Katie, it's me."
Katie sat up. "Come in."
Rachel entered. She hesitated. "Uh . . . Katie . . . I talked to Mom and Dad."
"What--did--do they know?" asked Katie breathlessly.
Rachel sighed. "Yes, Katie. I called Mom earlier--you know how she worries. Well, she wondered why you're here. I hadn't planned on telling her since I felt that's your responsibility, but Mom guessed. She feared you might be pregnant, but I think she had been denying that you were in trouble. Mom is upset, and I think hurt, that you did not confide in her first."
Katie had a sinking feeling in her stomach. "Does she know--about the clinic?"
"I guess Dad told her after he called."
"Dad called?"
"Yes, about an hour ago. He was very upset when Mom told him about you. I tried to reason with him and explained that you need their love and support, especially now. I finally admitted you were so worried about their reaction that you had even considered an abortion."
Katie forced the words out between sobs. "Wh-what . . . d-did he say . . . then?"
"He hung up."
"Oh, no! What will I do now?" wailed Katie.
"Pray and wash up. They're on their way here. That last call a few minutes ago was Dad again. All he said was, 'we'll be there in thirty minutes,' and he hung up. Let's see. That was about. . ." Rachel glanced at her watch, "ten minutes ago."
Katie felt as though someone had pulled the rug out from under her. "Rachel, I don't know if I can face them. What--what if they kick me out?"
"Katie, they love you. Why don't we pray and ask God to soften their hearts."
Katie and Rachel prayed, and Katie had just enough time to wash her face before the doorbell rang. Carefully, she ascended the stairs, lingering as long as possible to prolong the dreaded confrontation. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the living room where her parents awaited her.
Slowly, she lifted her eyes to her parents. Katie could see the hurt in their red-rimmed, eyes. Katie's lip began to tremble as the tears welled up her eyes. She blinked and swallowed the lump rising in her throat.
"M-mom . . . D-dad," she squeaked, "I-I'm so sorry . . . Please forgive me!"
Sobbing, Katie buried her head in her hands. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Katie looked up to see her mom--tears streaming down her face.
"Oh, Mom!"
Katie fell weeping into her mom's arms. Katie buried her face in her mom's shoulder and shivered in the warmth of her embrace. It had been too long since she had enjoyed the comfort of her mom's loving arms.
Katie glanced up as her father cleared his throat.
"Uh . . . Katie, your mom and I discussed this on the drive here. Yes, we are hurt." He sighed. "But so are you." There was a long pause. "I-I never dreamed anything like this would happen--especially to you. At first, I did not want to accept this pregnancy. I know, however, that God loves this unborn child and has a special purpose for him. Since God's forgiven you, what choice do we have?"
Tears flowed down Katie's face. "What will I do about the baby and my education?"
Katie's mom stroked her daughter's hair. "Katie, we have several months to consider our options and decide what's best for you and the baby. We will take each day as it comes, but our grandchild deserves the right to life."
Katie noticed Rachel and Mark off to the side nodding and smiling through their tears.
"Yes," Katie thought, "God can take our fears and failures and work them for His good."
Katie was uncertain of what lay ahead for her and her baby. The next few months would not be easy--at school, church, and even at home. There would be difficult and painful changes for her. Yes, Katie had made her choice for life, and she knew she would never regret it.
Note from the author: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have tried to portray both sides of the abortion issue as accurately as possible. In writing this story, I have tried to dramatize the agonizing struggle unwed pregnant teens often go through when considering abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby.
