Letter to Heaven
God,
Thank you for the treasures you've
given--four children on earth and three in heaven. Thank you for watching over my three who have proceeded me. Please give them my love and this letter.
Your daughter,
Rachel
Dear Children,
Oh, how Mommy loves you and misses you! My time with you was too short, and I never got to give you even one kiss and hug, but my love for you is there. Although I grieve our separation, I know that your heavenly Father is caring for you in a much better environment and a much better way than I could ever provide for you. I want you to know that I think of you often and look forward to the day when I meet you. I am so glad you have each other, as well as the love of God, great-grandparents and other friends who have gone to heaven.
Please tell my grandparents that I love them and miss them. I still dream of them different times. Sometimes, it seems so real. I am comforted in knowing that my grandparents have you all to love them.
Josiah, you were my first child born into heaven. You've been there almost three years now. What a surprise you were to us, both in your brief appearance in our lives and in your so sudden removal from our home. Your oldest brother John still talks about you and knows that he has another brother in heaven. Daniel was only a baby when you left us, but now he is four years old. Joseph is your baby brother. I wish you could meet your brothers. You would love them. But now you're a big brother in heaven. Watch over your sisters for me, and give them a hug and kiss from Mommy.
Rachael, my precious daughter, I was so looking forward to having you join our family. I named you Rachael because you are God's little lamb now. I found out I was expecting you only the week before Mother's Day--what a wonderful Mother's Day present. I rejoiced when several days later, I saw your tiny heart flickering. You were alive and growing inside me. But every day, I feared that you, too, would join your brother in heaven. When my fears turned into reality, I felt as though part of me died with you.
Ruth, your life ended almost before it began. I suspected I was pregnant, but never had the chance to confirm my pregnancy with the doctor. It's been two years since I lost you and sometimes, I begin to doubt whether you were really there. But oh, I remember the pain I suffered with your loss. I did not know how many more losses I could handle.
Mommy is writing this letter to let you know you will always hold a special place in my heart, and I look forward to joining you some day. What a wonderful day when I get to meet you! How blessed I am--I already have my own welcoming committee!
With all my love,
Mommy
