Miscarriage & Infertility 

 

"I have been trying to make the best of grief and am just beginning to learn to allow it to  make the best of me." 

- Barbara Lazear Ascher

 

 

Miscarriage is never easy. Whether it occurs in the first few weeks or later in the pregnancy, the loss of a baby leaves its mark on the mother, the father, and even the children. While some women discover the reason for their pregnancy losses, most never do. Many never learn the sex of their baby either. These unknowns often trouble women for months and sometimes even years later. All women grieve differently, but every women who has experienced miscarriage has felt the loss.

 

I never completely understood the pain of miscarriage until I lost my own babies. While my grief has lessened over the years, and with the birth of a third son and a daughter, nothing erases the memory of those children I never met.

 

Most women who experience miscarriages later go on to deliver a healthy baby, but not all. Some struggle for years trying to conceive and carry a baby to term and some never have the joy of having their own natural-born children.

 

I wish I could eradicate all pain and suffering, but I know that is impossible. I do hope that through my writings, I may offer comfort to women who have faced disappointment and grief. You are not alone in your suffering. I care and so does God!

 

Miscarriage:

 

Although I have not discovered the answers to all my questions, I know that the sovereign almighty God has everything in His control. He loves me and never gives me more than I can handle. I would not change the past because I have gleaned so much from those experiences.

 

Written to my babies in heaven

 

In memory of my son Josiah David Keller, written on what would have been his second birthday.

 

 

Do you feel helpless when a friend loses a baby? Here are some ways you can help a friend who's grieving.

 

Losing a child is difficult, but there are ways to help deal with the pain. I also include ways to remember your baby.

 

Explaining miscarriage and death to a child is never easy, but it is necessary. Even a child as young as two years can sense something is wrong. (article to be added soon)

 

 

A Mother's Prayer

by Elaine Fram Distad on the death of her infant daughter

Lord, thank you for the gift of life

My tiny babe you made;

You lent her for so little time,

I wish she could have stayed.

 

I never knew this child you formed,

Only held her in my palm;

But great is my loss and greater my pain,

Her memory lingers on.

 

In sovereign wisdom you took her home,

From earth she had to go;

Please tell her how I miss her,

Tell her, "Mama loves you so!"

 

Please wrap her in your loving arms

And keep with tender care;

Remind her that I'll hold her tight

Someday when I come there.

 

But until then I'll carry on

Encouraged by Thy love.

I now can rest, you've done what's best,

I'll trust my God above.

 

*  *  *

 

Treasure in Heaven
by Rachel Keller in memory of her children in heaven

So little time I had you,

My precious little one.

So long a time I prayed

Not my will but Thine be done.


For years I had waited;

For months I had prayed.

For weeks I had hoped.

Great plans I had made.


It seems unfair to make a child

And then to take away

Before he even draws a breath

Or sees the light of day.


I know my child's in heaven;

He's waiting there for me.

Some day we'll be united;

Some day his mom I'll be.


Poem Copyright 2005 Rachel Greenawalt Keller
Written April 27, 2005 in memory of my children in heaven, especially
Josiah David Keller whose due date was April 27, 1998.

 

 

 

Infertility:

 

For infertile women who want children, Mother's Day can be frustrating and painful.

 

Many women in the Bible struggled with infertility. Rebekah waited 20 years before she had twins. Some waited longer. One woman never had children.

 

Hannah is barren and cries out to God to fill her empty arms.

Recommended Links and Sites:

 

Writing The Heartache is a web site to provide encouragement for those who want to use writing as a tool towards healing.